How do you handle yourself in the relationship when you're involved with a man? All right, take this quiz and answer each question with the choice closest to how you'd behave to get some insight into whether or not your twosome is usually in the best of health or is an emergency waiting to happen.
1. My boyfriend or husband is always so forgetful. The way I handle it is:
a) I almost make sure I remind him of things so he won't forget.
b) Occasionally remind him of the most important. things so he won't forget.
c) I almost never remind him of things. He's a big boy, and big boys need to know how to remind themselves of things so they don't forget.
2. When I'm really attracted to a man, I find myself trying to win his approval.
a) Almost always. A man will like you more if he approves of you in every way.
b) Occasionally. I often try to find out more about what the man likes and then study up on it so I can be more informed in certain areas and can relate better to him.
c) Almost never. Either he likes me as I am or forget about it.
3. When I'm in a relationship with a man I like a lot, I find myself giving him huge leeway in the kind of behavior I will tolerate from him in order to keep the relationship going.
a) Almost always. I hate confrontations and unpleasantness in a relationship. Besides, if we fight too much, he may go elsewhere.
b) Occasionally. I don't believe in constant arguments so unless his behavior is totally ridiculous, I tend to overlook the small, insignificant things that could start a pointless argument.
c), Almost never. I do not allow a man to get away with behavior I feel is disrespectful of me. He should treat me as well as he wants to be treated.
4. When I want a man to notice me or want something from him, I use my femininity and sexuality to help convince him.
a) Almost always. Feminine wiles were meant to be used to a woman's advantage.
b) Occasionally. If he's the type of man who responds to these kinds of tricks, then I use them. If he isn't, I try another approach.
c) Almost never. If a man can be taken in by these idiotic tactics, then I usually won't have any respect for him.
5. My man's approval of me is very important, and if I think he'll disapprove of something I want to do or say, I'll refrain from doing it or saying it around him.
a) Almost always. Why start problems?
b) Occasionally, if it's something that will cause major problems.
c) Almost never. I'm an adult with a mind of my own. If I feel he'll disapprove, I may or may not warn him first; it depends on my mood or how strongly he'll disapprove.
6. When I want or need something from a man, I ask him for it in a roundabout way.
a) Almost always. I don't think men like straightforward women. It intimidates them.
b) Occasionally. It depends on what it is I want. If it's something I think he'll fight me on, I usually lead him into it in a roundabout way.
c) Almost never. If he won't do it, it can always be discussed.
7. If I think I'm being disrespected by the man I'm with, I quickly end the relationship.
a) Almost never. Maybe I'm just oversensitive.
b) Occasionally. But it has to be truly obvious.
c) Almost always. I see how it goes for a minute, before I call it quits.
8. I carry plenty of excess baggage into new relationship from past hurtful relationships with men.
a) Almost always. I can't seem to rid myself of it.
b) Occasionally. When I can, I try to see each person as an individual but it's very difficult.
c) Almost never. I'm usually able to deal with each man as an individual in a new situation.
9. If my man criticizes me, and I feel the criticism is unjustified, I usually challenge his reason.
a) Almost never. I hate confrontations of any kind.
b) Occasionally. If it's something small, I just let it go. Why possibly start an argument.
c) Almost always. If I think he's wrong. I tell him so-tactfully, of course.
10. If my man compliments me, I usually accept it as my due.
a) Almost never. I don't want to appear conceited, do I?
b) Occasionally. But I try to gloss over it if the praise is too effusive. It makes me uncomfortable.
c) Almost always. I thank him and appreciate the compliment.
SCORING
Give yourself 2 points for each ' "a" answer, 4 points for each "b" answer, and 6 points for each "c" answer.
20-39 Points: AILING BADLY. Unfortunately, you don’t have a very healthy track record when it comes to your relationships with men. Perhaps, you suffer from low self- esteem or have had painful experiences with men which have colored how you now interact with them. Reach-out for support to help yourself. Enlist the aid of a women's group, or find a good therapist to discuss your feedings. Whatever you do, lavish some love on yourself before you attempt to go one on one with a man. You have to leans to love yourself before you can engage ma healthy relationship with anyone else.
40-49 Points: SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT. You have 'some' bad emotional habits that need to be addressed before your relationships with men reach a healthy give and take of love and appreciation. You tend to give up your power around men, and allow others to walk all over you. Stop pretending everything is OK. Admit you have a problem and reclaim your power by asserting yourself positively.
50 or more points: YOU'RE DOING OK. You are, for the most part, possessed of a healthy self—esteem and don't allow yourself to be abused by anyone. You should, however, be careful not to swing from one extreme to the other, staying silent when you're upset and then exploding in anger at an unsuspecting partner. Practice speaking up all the time, and express your needs. Remember, you deserve happiness and a supportive, positive relationship.