“I don't have a boyfriend ... yet." You reply to your monster Aunt Matilda's query during the annual family massacre, err, Christmas gathering.
"But why?" she sputters, her Tammy Faye Baker-eyelashes fluttering incredulously.
"I guess it’s not yet meant to be." you say, smiling sweetly though you have this image of yourself showing dynamite up her rectum. Then you turn away with as much grace as you can muster and head to the cocktail bar where you drown your sorrows in margaritas.
So here is another holiday season, and you are probably thinking about:
• how lonely you feel.
• who among your friends can accommodate you.
• how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connected.
• how you will handle the office holiday party — single, take a friend, not attend, kill yourself.
• hiding out, alone, in your own home.
Cheer up, singleton. You've done it before; you can do it again — survive the holiday that is. Here is a holiday survival guide for singletons out there:
• Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, images and Hallmark verses depicting the "right" experiences and expressions for the season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there's nothing wrong with being single. You have the same need and right to enjoy this season as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you.
• Don't make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday season. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself: "Do I really want to go out?" If so, make your next question something like: "Does it sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?" Or, "Will I have the opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?"
• Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the holidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and do not expect so much that you will feel hurt or disappointed when things don't turn out just as you had imagined. This will defeat all the positive feelings and experiences gained.
• Make sure you give thanks for all the blessings you do have in your life. Focusing on what you do not have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a prayer of hope for the things you would like to work for in the coming year.